At the beginning of the marriage, partners often report that the other person brings out the best in them, which is true. Since both partners initially expected or felt that their basic needs were being met, their maladaptive schemas remained beneath the surface, and both functioned as their best version relationally. They do not have to make any effort to make the marriage function well. However, as soon as circumstances arise in which the needs of both partners conflict or cannot be fulfilled, the optimism bias begins to fade, and the first doubts emerge. All kinds of circumstances can trigger as long as they cause enough stress. For some couples, the wedding itself is such a stressful event that the first turning point occurs immediately after the ceremony.

Once the decision is made and there is no return, all family members are under pressure, leading to mental overload, brooding, and egocentrism. Therefore, parents easily lose sight of the profound emotional struggle that children are going through. Lie Ken Jie et al. (2025) found that the emotional struggle children face when they feel torn between their parents is emotionally harmful (2025) [22]. The significant impact of divorce on the children's emotional health should be carefully considered in any divorce situation.

Basic needs become important at this stage. Focusing on the turmoil the family is enduring in these situations is not helpful. Therefore, creating a holding space where emotional regulation can ensure sleep, presence, and routine becomes binding for the children’s psychological safety. Creating enough holding space throughout the process of helping families in co-regulating affect is crucial to anchor these aiding components.

As Bowlby (1988) noted, emotional safety comes from a reliable, attentive, and responsive presence, particularly during stressful periods, whereas caregivers must provide a secure base [23]. During a divorce, this kind of support becomes essential.

Perry and Szalavitz (2017) describe it as the “state regulates story,” showing that the physiological and emotional state determines how a person gives meaning to their experiences [24]. Stress can arise when there is not enough secure space, and it becomes necessary to regulate the nervous system. Van der Kolk (2014) explained that trauma lives in the body and cannot be transformed through words alone. Integration comes after somatic safety is established [25].ReAttach protocols intervene precisely at this point by providing emotional safety first, which facilitates integration only after calming down through active modulation of affective states, enabling narrative construction so that the nervous system can process information [15].

Even with the possibility of divorced parents creating a parenting plan, many parents struggle to maintain good relations after the divorce. This difficulty is often more profound than the logistics of the parenting plans. What truly obstructs healthy post-divorce relationships is the turmoil in attachment patterns and a fragmented sense of self [26]. When core emotional needs remain unaddressed and unintegrated, it is not just the relationship that suffers but also the foundation of the individual's ability to relate. To rebuild relational consistency is to restore internal safety, which is possible through emotional regulation and co-regulation with significant others, such as children, promoting secure attachment [26][19][24].

Upholding a secure attachment will lead to real connection, empathy, and presence. Trust and structure in any relationship need a space where emotions can be regulated, and only then can meaning begin to emerge. When caregivers who go through divorce are helped to regulate their emotional states, they become more emotionally available to the children in their care. It is not about being perfect parents. It is about becoming solid, present, and attuned enough for children to feel that someone is there. [26] describe how the ability to make sense of our own and others' internal worlds is rooted in those early experiences of relational safety [26]. [27] show us that when caregivers carry unresolved trauma, it often shows up in the child's attachment pattern as confusion or fear [27]. This is precisely why restoring internal coherence, both in the caregiver and the child, is utterly important. Cohesion in any family system, whether biological, adoptive, or restructured after divorce, relies on secure attachment. When that is absent, relationships become disturbed or reactive.

This is precisely why restoring internal coherence, both in the caregiver and the child, is utterly important. Cohesion in any family system, whether biological, adoptive, or restructured after divorce, relies on secure attachment. When that is absent, relationships become disturbed or reactive.

What makes a relationship resilient is the capacity to repair, which begins with affect regulation -the integration of sensory and emotional experiences -and the rebuilding of a meaningful sense of self in connection with another. Especially for children navigating disrupted family situations or for parents facing emotional fatigue, ReAttach can help create relational consistency. Building a strong self is an act of care. It is the emotional infrastructure that enables presence, empathy, and genuine connection to flourish. Moreover, from that point on -not before -it becomes possible to care for children in a way that is not only responsible but truly attuned.

According to Putnam (2007), Inglehart and Welzel (2005), enhancing interpersonal tolerance, emotional resilience, the capacity to forgive, and the ability to build sustainable relationships has significant implications at a societal level. Increased tolerance fosters social cohesion and reduces conflict, especially in multicultural or diverse environments. Societies with higher levels of interpersonal tolerance often demonstrate greater social trust, more stable democracies, and reduced polarization [28][29]. Furthermore, emotional resilience and stress tolerance are essential for maintaining psychological well-being and productivity in the face of adversity. Resilient communities are better equipped to recover from crises—whether economic, environmental, or public health-related—contributing to collective stability and reducing the burden on healthcare systems [30][31]. Likewise, Staub (2005) explained that forgiveness plays a critical role in reducing hostility and fostering reconciliation at both interpersonal and societal levels. In post-conflict societies, forgiveness has been central to peacebuilding efforts, helping to break cycles of retaliation and build shared futures, as evidenced in post-genocide Rwanda and post-apartheid South Africa At an individual level, forgiveness is linked to reduced anxiety, depression, and aggression, promoting overall mental health and healthier social interactions [32][33]. Additionally, combining these traits with the ability to build and maintain sustainable, empathetic relationships, they strengthen social capital, encourage cooperation, and support long-term societal resilience. Taken together, these competencies not only enrich individual lives but also contribute to creating more peaceful, inclusive, and sustainable societies [34][35].

Overall, fostering tolerance, resilience, forgiveness, and sustainable relationships does not merely enhance individual well-being-it strengthens the very fabric of society. When cultivated at scale, these traits reduce conflict, improve health, stimulate economic development, and create more compassionate and cooperative communities. As such, educational systems, public policy, and organizational leadership should prioritize the development of these psychosocial competencies to promote long-term societal resilience and sustainability. In the discussion section, we will provide a comprehensive explanation of the details from various perspectives.